Any male, knightly, Noble or otherwise, can attest that any Lady we happen upon, no matter her rank, shall undoubtedly astound us.
And it’s only right she should.
From early childhood she has known how to do just that, with King Arthur expounding that ability to greater heights by making every woman the inspiration of his Queen Guinevere, along with declaring every knight shall yield all women their honor and defense of sword as well.
Hopefully, your Knight master has also included in your training how to beg her favor, gain her loyalty, and seek out her approval in all things, of which she gets to decide if you are worthy enough for just one of these, let alone bestow all of them upon you at once.
Do the subtly of my words come thorough as yet?
In short, my Lords, destiny commands you be more servant to a Lady than any vassal ever was to an Overlord.
Her beck and call should be answered, her hands freed to be kissed, her looks exaggerated...?extolled upon.
Kindly pardon, my Lords, I must go scold my Scribe for mis-printing my words in such an unkind manner.
From our knightly beginning they have been the one desire we would grant the heavens
our very existence to covet, and defend with our bodies at all cost. So, to say we are nothing
without them is an understatement in any chivalric age.
Yet, you may take heart, my Lords, for that never means thou can never have a
meaningful or spirited conversation with her, or that your mind can not be elsewhere, say on a war and not her, or that your men can never drag you off the field for a well deserved pint after you’ve been beaten hard and left on the field to die a sweltering death.
Now that I have relayed all that a Lady requires of us, it does become so much clearer just how much she has command over us in all things great and small.
All Hail the fair gender!
A LORD SHOULD ALWAYS;
Honor every Lady’s as their inspirations for the sake of their noble Queen.
A LADY SHOULD ALWAYS;
Remain the inspiration and noble source of every Lord’s respect.
Begging
Her Favor
To sport a Lady's favor, is to be honored.
They are the most coveted prize at any event, and a necessary element to any knight entering a martial sport, challenged combat, or crowning tournea.
They are the show pieces any knight or king alike wish to possess. Though not an overly large piece of cloth to get in the way of fighting, they do loudly broadcast you are among the elite who get to display such a trinket.
They vary in type, size, and styel. Some Lady's intricately embroider a scarf with a COA for a knight's upper vambrace, while others choose the smaller pointed favor a knight wears tucked over his belt, while others devise a whimsical design, animal, or theme to bestow on a Lord or husband. And husbands, make no mistake, you still have to ask for the honor of carrying her favor into every battle
you partake in.
Her favor can be as elegant, knotted, or simple as choosing a scarf in her favorte color, and no Lady grants them to just anyone. They are only given to one who has gained her attention, her heart, or acceptance.
If you garner a Lady's interest and thereby her favor. you are indeed fortunate, though I must insert a warning here, my Lords, it has always been and shall always be her right to rescind that favor and interest in you anytime you foolishly do something to displease her. Types
of Favors
There are two.
1. Friendship
This favor is usually given a Knight for a single combat, a weekend event and is returned to
the Lady when the warrior has won or lost.
2. Committed
This type is associated with a Crowning Tourney or a favor asked of a Lady wife or partner.
These are not returned and may be continually displayed by the knight.
FAVOR
AMORETTE love-knot interlaced like a rosette.
CIMIER removable device/whimsical favor of love on knights helmet.
COINTISE scarf/fabric from a lady’s headdress to knight’s helmet.
Kissing
Her Hand
As in all things Medieval, there is a time and a place for this as well, and if you are approaching a Lady with her arms full of tourney gear headed to set up for an archery match, a Lord’s first thought should be to help her, not wonder why she isn’t extending her hand to be kissed.
If you see she at least has one hand free as you approach with a greeting and she doesn’t extend it to be kissed, you will just have to wonder why? But if she does extend her hand and you don’t kiss it, you have just insulted her beyond measure. And lo’ to you if she decides to seek justice for that by telling the Knight Marshal or worse, the King. It’s not a pretty sight watching a grown man get a tongue lashing in public for committing such a grievous error. But have faith, that each and every one of us have all committed this sin at least once after becoming a knight.
If your glove or fighting gauntlets are still on, do you remove one to kiss her hand? Yes, it’s polite, though at times unnecessary if in a hurry, she will understand you are headed somewhere, but if you intend to chat, be courteous and remove it first.
Coming to
Her Rescue
In the past a knights first duty is to protect her at all times and in every way and manner at his disposal, while in today’s play groups this usually means to aid her in carrying whatever she has in her arms to wherever she needs to be, making the actual protection of her a secondary need not usually a frequent or foremost one.
No matter your groups EPE most Knights, myself included, are staunch addicts who firmly believe any woman should be made to feel protected every moment she is with us, and not simply because she is a reflection of my Queen, but merely for the reason she is someone’s mother, sister, or wife.
Offering
Thy Arm
If you meet a Lady who is alone chivalry commands you courteously offer your arm to see escort her safely to where ever she needs to go.
Carrying her items goes without mention.
An exception to this rule is when you are otherwise occupied by your own Lady or wife, on an errand for the King, or must be at a certain place and time for either Royal.
While she will be understanding once told of your predicament, be kind and offer to escort her as far as you are able.
Of course, nothing forbids you from escorting two Lady’s at the same time, provided your sword is capable of defending and protecting both safely to their destinations.
Courtly Love
COURTLY LOVE/Armour courtois/Hofische/Minne 12th c. songs.
COURTLY LOVE 1883 a term used by Gaston Paris describing the ‘culture’ of love and adoration developed in Northern France during late 12th c. Courtly love always took place outside of marriage, one reason the medieval church took such objection to it.
AMORETTE love-knot interlaced like a rosette.
CASSONE large rectangle chest for storing house goods, predecessor to the hope chest, was also carved with courtly love scenes.
CHRISTINE de PIZAN professional writer and wrote twenty books, and the Medieval Woman's Mirror of Honor
CUCKOLD a husband of an unfaithful wife. The 12th c. Middle English word of ‘Cukeweld’ later became Cuckold, referring to the Cuckoo bird’s habit of laying it's eggs in another birds nest.
FIN AMOURS term for the idea of love held by the Provencal, who were inhabitants of Provence France. Also called 'Occitan's, a romance dialect widely spoken in France during the Middle Ages.
LADY BOSS a Queen, or one who leads or directs a Household or manor.
MADRIGAL short love poem sung by several poives
MACRONIC VERSE poem having Latin or foreign verses in them
SERVICE of LOVE a lover’s double allegiance to his love and to his god
FRENCH ALLEGIANCE was ‘service d’Amour‘
GERMAN ALLEGIANCE was ‘Minnedienst‘
MINNEKASTCHEN a coffer for love notes, exchanged jewels or objects
MINNELIEDER love songs sung by their Minnesingers
MINNESINGER 12th c. courtly composer of poems
SENJAL lover’s code name to remain secret and avoid scandal
A knight in shining armor glorified the Lady he selected to pine for, and more often than not she
was married.
There were ‘Rules’ to partaking in Courtly Love for which the knight promised;
1. To be ardent
2. Secretive
3. Courteous.
4. Bestows upon the Lady a ring to wear on the little finger of the left hand, and if it held a stone,
it would have to be turned beneath her hand to be hidden.
5. If either wrote a letter to one another, proper names were never used omitting becoming
accidentally known to anyone.
Church leaders panicked over this movement, fearing knights would lose faith or ardor for their religious obligations. Only when they found out the most beautiful love songs were written by their own monks did they change their minds.
Even though women, as well as men’s, feeling of love were changing, Courtly love still held the double standard for them. A good knight would keep silent on his affairs, while some would boast about his chosen lady blatantly loud, but a woman, especially one married, had to remain secretive least anyone discover that second relationship. If her Lord husband discovered he was being cuckolded, he could cast her out of his home and demand the King have the man be castrated or executed. It would also be his right to have her Lord father exiled and his lands given to him because he brought a woman of her indiscretions into this world.
Below is a rule list of Courtly love revised for love today written by Brian R. Prince 1997.
Knightly Rules for Chivalrous Love.
1. Thou shalt avoid avarice and embrace its opposite.
2. Thou shalt keep thyself chaste for the sake of her whom thou lovest.
3. Thou shalt not knowingly break up a love affair that someone else is engaged in.
4. Thou shalt not love anyone whom a natural sense of shame forbids thee to marry.
5. Thou shalt be ever mindful to avoid falsehood.
6. Thou shalt never allow any to know of thy love affair.
7. Thou shalt be obedient in all things to the commands of ladies, thou shalt strive to ally thyself
to the service of Love.
8. Thou shalt give and receive love's solaces let modesty be ever present.
9. Thou shalt never speak evil.
10. Thou shalt not be a revealer of love affairs.
11. Thou shalt always be courteous and polite in all things.
12. Thou shalt practice solace of love and shalt not exceed the desires of thy lover.
ART OF COURTLY LOVE 11th c. written by Andreas Cappallanus for Marie de Champagne. It mainly tells of relationships between men and women, a parody of Ovid’s Art of Love, where in it he states 31 rules for loving.
POETRY
Love stories were told or sung by Troubadours/Minstrels playing instruments.
The first of these poems came from France called ‘Chansons de Gest’ and its most famous was the Chanson de Roland, or Song of Roland. Its four thousand lines told about King Charlemagne’s nephew who died defending the rear of his army in a mountain pass.
Latter poems of Arthurian legends tell of Tristan and Iseult, no French copy exists only bits of a German manuscript are left. The third most famous is Le Roman de la Rosa, Story of the Rose a parable. Its new style was tremendously popular, and one that would be copied from France to England during the next few centuries.
To entrap thy Lady's heart soundly write thy heart's love in a poem.
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